11/8/16 10:47 p.m. PST

heres-the-basic-electoral-college-map-with-states-that-clinton-won-in-blue-and-states-that-trump-won-in-red-assuming-that-trumps-narrow-lead-in-michigan-holdsThis is coming out of my fingers at 10:47 PST on November 8, 2016 a day that will live in infamy I’m wondering if I’ll have any money left after they clean out my IRA tomorrow and if my granddaughters and yours will have the option of getting a legal abortion if god forbid they ever face the necessity of considering that option Someone on CNN just mentioned Kellyanne Conway whom my wife just said holy shit we’re gonna have to put up with that phony smileyface for the next four years Okay I’m beginning to come to terms with all this We’ll just let other countries pick up the ball on all the issues that matter in the world like climate change and terrorism and the imperatives of technological change which Trump either denies or will choose to deal with by relying on his own omniscience and omnipotence or on his close advisors who will probably be people like Bannon and Christie and Giuliani and Kellyanne and god knows a foursome of his sleazebag gold hoarding billionaire golf buddies Wow I just realized at least we don’t have to worry about tattooed white guys with sideburns rioting and burning Volvos in the streets because they won tonight Whew what a relief THAT is So now the term “bully pulpit” will have an entirely new meaning and Teddy Roosevelt is turning over in his grave, along with Lincoln and Reagan and Gandhi and probably Stalin (for different reasons) speaking of whom Putin is no doubt a happy camper tonight and I expect will soon invite Donald and Melania to his dacha on the Black Sea to eat caviar and do all the kinky things the masters of the universe do when they get high on power So I wonder what Hillary will do now and if she will finally dump Bill because her political aspirations are toast and she no longer needs him on campaign trail or any other kind of trail for that matter probably not because they are an amazing matched set and it would be sad Speaking of whom James Carvel is on MSNBC right now blinding viewers like myself with his three-acre bald head Now it’s Podesta whom I suspect has been keeping sharp objects and neckties and bedsheets away from Hillary who isn’t capable of making an appearance because she is back in her hotel room either on suicide watch or more likely getting shitfaced with Huma, is telling people to go to bed and So I guess I will go to bed Goodnight

11/8/16 10:53 p.m. PST

© 2016 Ron Dulaney


  1. Simply in shock this morning and it took me much of the day to swallow it. Even considered just staying in Greece this time. Having said that, it’s a great indicator of how desperate Americans are for change. Trump is a mirror for us. Sad. And, in the long run, we don’t always know what is best. Time will tell.
    Still feel deeply disappointed in us!!!!


  2. Like my dear old dad told me many a time: “Be careful what you wish for…you just might get it!” It looks as though the uneducated, white, red neck, rural, racist, he-man-woman-haters have gotten what they have been clamoring for. I can’t wait to hear them cry and complain when The Donald turns his back on them to conspire, hob knob and plan their 4 year rape of the United States with his 1% ers, Senate, House and Supreme Court pals. In my opinion there are two types of leaders that inspire and deserve the “Cult of Personality” tag. Good and Evil. Kennedy and Gandhi were in the Good Category; Hitler and Manson were in the Bad. Guess where I’m putting Trump?


  3. Ron, oh Ronnie. I am scratching everywhere and it ain’t helping (inside joke). I have barely slept and am frozen in space. Outer space. Bewildered and dumbfounded. You, my friend, are awesome both in your writing and as a human being. And so is that wife of yours.


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